In my 10+ years of working in Human Resources, I’ve never seen a resume quite like the one I’m about to quote from.  It is a narrative resume, full of run-on sentences, which is 13 pages in length.  I can’t possibly capture everything, but here are a few tidbits:

- I went with M.B. to get her a better paying job.
- I don’t take bribes.
- I can make ham and eggs in the woods.
- I forded a river in the living history group I was in.
- I once got a finger print kit from Radio Shack.
- I had the proud pleasure to pray for Mrs. D’s daughter who had cancer and she was healed and I rec’d a letter which I put in the donation slot at the Saint Padre Pio’s church museum one of the next times I was there.
- I prayed for the financial recovery of the world and fellowship and competence and lots of money for everyone and good living.
- Yesterday I received a very nice thank you note from Mr. Dick Cheyney, Vice President of the US for my ideas on Kevlar Tires for military vehicles. And he appreciates the time I take to provide my input.  I thank you Mr. Cheyney.  And if I want to desire more information on pending legislation and administration policies to look on the whitehouse.gov or firstgov.gov websites and thanks.
- I worked for ******’s computer room and I asked for vacation time and it was granted.
- I won a book from Monroe County for participating in one of the re-enactments fo General Sullivan’s March.
- I want to do my own “Operation Rock and Roll” with full 100% safe antibacterial Air Support to counter the WMD stuff and have all the people resurrected and turn the tables on the bad guys and have Mr. Lumpkin, cheer, with his arms in the air and have full equipment there and use actual resurrecting BAL or water and gets sprayed from SAZC-USAF.
- I asked Mr. G. to be my reference and I think his wife Pat said yes.
- Currently working for the Police Chief as a crossing guard. I cross children and emergency vehicles for the DHS/FEMA andother OPM US Govt. jobs/positions and I applied for welfare.
- I know Mr. M and Mr. D and they are both like Mr. Albert Einstein and they were friends.
- I signed up to do web interning and then paused and asked an associate who mentioned to stop if it was an adult site and I did at that moment and resigned from that.
- Mr. M is a retired USMC Sargeant and if you need a good accountant give him a call. He is a few courses shy of a degree and his prof. told him he was good.
- I wrote on a piece of paper for VP Cheyney to have a successful surgery and recovery and touched it to Saint Padre Pio’s glove.
- I also asked Mrs. N to be a reference, AND SHE MAY BE CRABBY, to be another of my personal references and she agreed and used to be a buyer and has good taste.

HAPPY JULY 4th EVERYONE, especially to you Mr. Job Applicant!!